"I haven't cried like that since Titanic!"
"I could tell she knew what I was feeling, we all are orphans in Zombieland."
"You're like a giant... cock blocking robot, like developed in a secret fucking government lab."
- Columbus (to Tallahassee)
Tallahassee: Sno-Balls? Sno-Balls? Where the fuck are the God damn Twinkies?
Columbus: I love Sno-Balls.
Tallahassee: I hate coconut. Not the flavor, but the consistency.
Columbus: You know there's a place untouched by all this crap?
Tallahassee: Out east, yeah?
Tallahassee: Out west, we hear it's out east, out east they hear it's out west. It's all bullshit. It's like you're a penguin at the North Pole hears the South Pole is real nice this time of year.
Columbus: There are no penguins in the North Pole.
Tallahassee: You wanna feel how hard I can punch?
Tallahassee: [referring to Wichita and Little Rock, who previously hijacked them] They're in the back, aren't they?
Little Rock: [pops up holding shotgun] Just me.
Tallahassee: You got taken hostage by a little girl?
Columbus: She was like a crouching tiger...
Tallahassee: She's twelve!
Columbus: Well, girls mature way faster than boys. She's way ahead of where I was at that age.
Little Rock: Twelve's the new twenty.
"No! She's only famous when she's Hannah Montana! She's only famous when she's wearing the wig!"
- Little Rock (to Tallahassee)
"In those moments where you're not quite sure if the undead are really dead, dead, don't get all stingy with your bullets. I mean, one more clean shot to the head, and this lady could have avoided becoming a human Happy Meal. Woulda... coulda... shoulda."
Little Rock: Have you heard about Pacific Playland? There are no zombies there.
Columbus: The amusement park?
Little Rock: Yep!
Tallahassee: That place totally blows!
[Little Rock and Wichita shoot Tallahassee angry looks]
Tallahassee: ... my mind. Just fun for the whole family.
Little Rock: [as Bill Murray is dying] Do you have any regrets?
Bill Murray: Garfield maybe.
At a glance:
Even non-gore fans will love the constant laughs and the smart scripting of Zombieland
Our review (with spoilers):
Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg, channeling Michael Cera) never liked people very much, anyway, so when mad cow disease turns almost everyone into cannibal zombies, he doesn’t miss the human company all that much. His loner life and anal retentiveness has prepared him to be a survivor. He lives by a long list of rules like "Don’t be a hero" and "Double Tap" (don’t spare ammunition – always shoot until the zombies are dead). Still, he misses his parents and hopes that his home town of Columbus was spared. As he heads there, he meets a cowboy-hat-wearing non-zombie: Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson). Tallahassee’s ‘no fear’ attitude compliments the phobias of Columbus. These guys seem to be savvy survivors, but in a moment of weakness, they are scammed by two con artist sisters, Wichita and Little Rock (Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin). For a while, the battle between human and zombie is usurped by the feud between the guys and the girls.
Zombieland has it all: the movement of a road movie, a witty and often hilarious script, a coming of age story for Columbus, and vomiting, bleeding-from-the-mouth, ravenous zombies. There’s also a big surprise ‘guest’ appearance when the non-zombies choose a Beverly Hills mansion as a rest stop – and I’ve already said too much about that. There are also some quirky touches – like everyone except the big star is referred to by their home. Columbus even calls his first ‘girlfriend’ by her apartment number (406).
Brimming with topical pop humor and movie in-jokes, Zombieland is laugh-inducing – and sometimes stomach-churning – from start to finish, often at the same moments. I am not at all a fan of gore, but if every gore movie was as funny and as well-written as Zombieland, I’d watch them all.
Rating: 3.5 of 4
Other reviewers said:
"This spoof on the zombie genre literally and figuratively is killer. It's laugh-out-loud funny, the gore is beautifully over-the-top, and the wicked script is laced with a cutting wit."
- Christopher Smith (Bangor Daily News [Maine]
"Very funny, often thrilling and full of neat little touches that should make it entirely rewatchable, Zombieland sees Fleischer join the ranks of directors – Romero, Wright, Raimi, Snyder – whose first films aren’t just zombie films, but great films."
- Chris Hewitt [UK] Empire Magazine